Realistic Self-Care: My New Pair of Pants

BTW, these aren't the pants I bought...

Today, I dared to take a pair of "regular person" (i.e. non-maternity) pants into a retail store change room. I'll admit I was nervous, because my experience has been that, even if I manage to shimmy them over my hips, my baby-induced extra weight and blown abdominals defy the closure of any zipper or buttons.

But, today, I am triumphant. Today, for the first time in over four years, a pair of off-the-rack pants fit me! Never mind that said pants are double what used to be my usual size; I bought them anyway. They are a symbol of my progress to-date.

When I originally began my baby-weight-loss journey, I told myself I wouldn't buy any new clothes in my plus-size. This pledge was both a cost-saving measure (why buy something when you're planning on it not fitting you in the near future?) and meant to provide extra incentive to stay focused on my end goal.

Or at least, so I figured.

Various people told me that positive self-perception would boost my commitment to losing weight, but I figured my practical side would wrestle my vanity into submission. Turns out, a little vanity is practical! Truth is, I make better choices to take care of myself when I feel good about my appearance: I'm more inclined to grab an apple than a chocolate bar, more motivated to head to the gym once again, willing to resist late-night urges to snack.

Whatever the psychology, when we feel good about our appearance, we work to keep feeling our best.

I'm not suggesting that every time we hit a stage of appreciable change in our transformative journey we should blow the bank on a new wardrobe. I bought two pair of very affordable pants, one that fits me right now and one that I can just zip up without slicing myself in half. That second pair of pants I am able to wear immediately, but they remind me that I mustn't slack off in my efforts, that the journey has yet to be completed.

So, if there's an (affordable) item that would celebrate your intermediate accomplishment and help you feel a little more chic or "together," then maybe you should get it! Over the course of a long haul, we all need some encouragement...

(On a related note, there are lots of "weight-loss journey" writers out in the blogosphere, many of them with people still part way along the journey and not using professional air-brushed photos of themselves --just very real. If knowing others are journeying too will help, check some of them out...) 

How about you? What keeps you going when you're in the midst of a lengthy work-in-progress? 

Spring Cleaning Tips for the Realistic Mummy

Unless you resort to paying someone else to clean your home, the idea of "spring cleaning" remains just that --an idea-- for the Realistic Mummy with a house full of young kids. The irony, however, is that if you do have a house full of little kids, then it almost certainly needs a good spring clean!

What's a Realistic Mummy to do? Here are some tips that I've found helpful:

  1.    Toss the baggage. The most important tip is to collect all those mental images of a fully clean house, sparkling from top to bottom, with linens aired, rugs beaten, clutter annihilated... and then throw that collection of imaginary baggage out the window! Get real; you live with a herd of mess-inducing, time-sucking small beings whose current purpose is to create chaos. Ditch the idea of a thorough clean-job, and accept a relative improvement in the level of domestic grime. This stage won't last forever (I keep reminding myself)...

2.    Think small. I've confessed before that my tendency is to wait to vacuum until I have time to vacuum the whole house, which is pretty much never. I've had to learn, therefore, that piecemeal jobs are better than none. Now, I clean/tidy in whatever snatches of time I find, tackling only as much as I can accomplish in a few minutes. So, sure, my house is never completely clean or tidy, but I can take satisfaction in a just-dusted shelf or a momentarily smudge-free mirror. And (I remind myself yet again) this stage won't last forever...

3.    Respect your limits. Accomplishing things feels good, but don't be tempted to push it. Your kids have been quiet while you do a certain job; don't think it will last! You'll only cause yourself stress if you try to sneak more in than is reasonably possible (emphasis on the "reasonably" part). Feel good about what you can do, and resolve to ignore what you can't.

4.    Cut yourself some slack. While we'd like to have a perfectly (or even imperfectly) clean house, what's the consequence if for a few years we don't? Yes, we want to avoid squalor and hoarding, and we don't want to lose track of certain essential items (like keys and wallets). But beyond staving off those extremes, what are we afraid will happen? Too often we forget that we make our own stress. Keep your cool (I keep reminding myself) and stay confident in your own ability to evaluate what's truly important.

This actually is something that rarely gets done...

I've explored here a few ideas on helpful ways to think about cleaning jobs, rather than ways to clean, basically because I find lists dealing exclusively with the latter tend to make me feel like I've got to add more things to my to-do list. (Bleh!)

My tip #5 is on simplifying your cleaning arsenal, but I'll expand on that in a separate post, to follow...

Until then, gentle readers, please share your own spring cleaning ideas, tips and experiences!

Why We Can't Be Camera-Shy

The past few years, whenever a camera is raised, I duck. Or quietly slink out of the room. Why? The full explanation is in a previous post, but let's just say I do not like the way my after-baby body looks.

Then a thunderclap, in the form of a link sent by a friend to a recent Huffington Post article, jolted me into a new perspective.

The author of the article --herself a mother of a couple of wee ones-- ponders what sort of message we send our children when we absent ourselves from our family's photographic memory for a number of years (or longer) because of our own self-perceived lack of visual appeal.

What does such self-censorship tell our girls, and our boys? Better yet, what are we telling our children when we joyfully participate in on-camera memory making, complete with extra heft, a few more chins, droopy lids, birds-nest hair and mismatched wardrobe?

The answer to that question, my friends, is what I'm going to keep in mind the next time a camera comes out. (I'll let you know if I get cold feet.)

What do you think?

The F-Word And Me

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Night Terrors

You run down the hall to your screaming child. But when you reach his bedside and stretch out your arms to comfort him, he flails his limbs and screams all the more. You call his name, tell him you're here, to no effect. Maybe his eyes are open; he might look in your direction. But he doesn't respond to your pleas and solaces.

After a while, he quiets and lies down, apparently of his own accord.

This pattern may replay several times a week, or only once in a while. Regardless, your reaction as a parent is always the same: confusion, concern and a sense of helplessness.

This pattern of behaviours is commonly known as "night terrors." Night terrors are not fully understood yet by the medical community, but for some good explanations, check out the articles from Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children, as well as from KidsHealth.org, and Pediatrics.About.com.

Two of our four boys have night terrors, and we've experienced scenarios like the one above many times. It was a relief to finally figure out what was going on, but it took some work, as the boys don't manifest the same pattern during a night terror.

So, in addition to all the expert advice, here's what we've discovered:

• We don't try (any more) to wake our boys. 
• That said, we've found our one son quiets more quickly if I (mummy) stay by him and quietly tell him I'm there and that we'll work on "it" together (I don't know what "it" is that he's experiencing, but that vague term seems to work).
• BUT, our other son requires absolutely no interaction whatsoever. No talking, no touching. If I do talk or touch, he becomes much more agitated and screams louder.

1st lesson learned: children may respond differently to different kinds/degrees of parental interaction during a night terror. Unfortunately, only trial and error will clarify this.

• During a night terror, our one son matches the classic description (behaviour, duration, contributing factors) --figuring out what was going on with him was relatively easy.
• BUT, our other son's night terrors do not follow the classic pattern. His screaming will go on for up to an hour. He may have several episodes in one night. Sometimes he even interacts with us to a certain extent, though not in a "normal" kind of way (e.g. we can't make sense of what he's saying; he asks for water but doesn't want it; he talks to us but while lying down with his eyes shut). 

2nd lesson learned: even though it doesn't match the standard description, it might still be a night terror. Trust your gut. 

• A trip to the toilet (for our out-of-diapers son) quite often seems to head off a night terror. This was a tip from friends who endured unbelievable night terrors until they came up with this tactic.
• Hearing many other parents share their stories and how they've coped with night terrors is amazingly reassuring. It's helped us feel like we're responding the right --and the realistic-- way.

3rd lesson learned: talk to everyone who may have insight to help you devise the best way to respond to the night terrors. Doctors, sure, but definitely other parents --they are the ones living through these episodes, and maybe some odd thing they've tried will work for you!  

And, above all, stay calm and try to ride them out (4th lesson there?). Anyone have any tips or stories to share?

Oil of Oregano: Not Just for Salads

This weekend it was finally my turn to succumb to whatever illness my four boys have been circulating since November. Thankfully the grandparents came to the rescue, looking after all or some of the kids for a couple of days. 


Immediately when she saw me, my mother-in-law asked, "Have you taken your oil of oregano?" I love how, even though she's a retired nurse, she's always on the lookout for natural remedies. This tendency has been especially helpful because for the past number of years I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding, and a lot of pharmaceutical cold meds have been off-limits. Oil of oregano is her newest find.


My father-in-law is not as impressed with the oil of oregano. He gags on it. I sort of like the taste. It's like a super-concentrated Greek salad, all in two little drops. I put the oil in a little whisper of water and throw it back like a shot. 


And I must say that, though it may be psychosomatic, this uber-salad dressing does seem to help. (This is the first time I've been laid low so far this winter.)


Anybody have any other tried-and-true remedies they swear by?