Sunday, 30 September 2012
The F-Word And Me
We all know the F-word is a bad word, and in my current lexicon, the F-word is "fitness." Or maybe it's "fat." Or "fat and fitness" --wait that's two words. Regardless, with my youngest now almost 18 months, I am feeling very discouraged about my two-headed F-word.
In the years B.C. (Before Children) I was an active person, athletically-inclined, even. I was a runner; I loved back-country hiking and cycling; I sometimes played team sports! My body conformed to a recognized size, and when I would go clothes shopping, I could choose off the rack rather reliably.
With baby number one, I put on what I deemed then was a heap of weight, but I did lose (almost) all of it. The second time around, I was carrying twins. Truthfully, I have few distinct memories from that pregnancy, and my partner tells me it's because for nine months I gained consciousness only long enough to scarf down mountains of food before nodding off again.
When I emerged from that ordeal, I was such a size and so flabby that I really didn't recognize myself. No joke, with two newborns in carriers, one in each hand, I had numerous people ask me when I was due, my belly so protruded.
Fourteen months later, having dropped some of the weight, I found I was pregnant again. I tried, really I did... until the third trimester. Now, almost a year and a half after cranking out the last kid, the overall trend is downward, but it's taking such a circuitous and slow route that I feel like I'll be wearing my victory bikini in the therapeutic pool at the retirement home.
I know it is possible to loose the weight --there are lots of mothers out there with two-plus kids, with twins, with hectic lives, who could be swimsuit models-- and I'm not trying to make excuses or elicit sympathy. But sometimes it can all just seem like too much, like I'm not capable of getting my S-word together. It can feel isolating.
And so, my sister, if you recognize yourself in any of this, take heart! Though you may think you're the only mummy at the playground who resembles more the Micheline Man than the hotties of MILF Island, you are not alone!
I'll keep you posted if I get any great revelations on this matter. How about you? How do you keep a healthy, active lifestyle with kids?