Sometimes It's Just Hard To Sit Still: Dinner + Little Kids

What is reasonable to expect of little kids at the extended-family dinner? For my four boys, a favourite activity is sliding off their chairs and disappearing under the table briefly, only to suddenly reappear on their seats again. Sitting across from them, they look like a pack of gophers popping in and out of their burrows.

NOT what dinner looks like at our house!

Due to this tendency, I usually allow my boys to leave the table between courses, so that they can play, away from the eating and conversing adults. Last year, my laxity produced a few critical comments from grandparents and some great-uncles and aunts: "They need to learn to sit still and eat together as a family!"

I certainly agree: kids can --and should-- learn to participate appropriately in various social scenarios, including siting for the duration of a meal, waiting to be served and enjoying conversation with others. However, I also think we adults need to be realistic about how and when that will happen.

At the time of the above story, my four boys were aged six and under. Let's put on the perspective of, say, a very normal four-year old boy and see the typical extended-family dinner through his eyes:

Mom said two minutes until I get food. That's forever! My tummy's sooo hungry, I'm not sure I can... Oh, good! She putting food on my plate.... Huh? What's this stuff? This doesn't look like what we normally have for dinner. What's that mushy brown thing? I don't think I want to eat that...

I really want a piece of that pie Mom and I made together. So yummy! It's my favourite. When's dessert coming?

Arrrgh, Uncle Somebody is asking me a bunch of questions. Things about school... I don't remember --I haven't been to school for days and days! Why doesn't he ask me about something cool, like the new truck I got? Wait, did I leave it in the other room? I can hardly wait to play with Cousin Jay with it... Is it time for dessert yet?

Seriously, can you say this is a four-year-old's ideal fun-time? So, yes, let's help our children learn the rules of social gatherings and the art of conversation. But, for heaven's sake, let's be realistic and do it in such a way that takes into account who our kids are and where they're at. Relax, all you relatives! They'll get there.

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(PS -- For any of you who might be counting, yes, I've been away for several months. What can I say? Family life got overwhelming, and I decided to take my own advice and be Realistic about what I could manage. Now that I'm back, my aim is to post once per month --hey, still trying to be Realistic-- with breaks at busy times. Thanks for keeping on reading!)

My Fav Low-Fat Pumpkin Pie Recipe

I'm aiming to bring a couple of pumpkin pies to the extended family Thanksgiving dinner this weekend (ask me next week if they actually got made...). If your family is like mine, then pie is the only item I can count on my kids eating at Thanksgiving. So, I like to make mine as healthy as possible, y'know, relatively speaking.

I've had really good success working off the Best Light Pumpkin Pie recipe at FoodandHealth.com, but with a few changes:

Low Fat Pumpkin Pie Recipe

16 ginger snap cookies
2 tsp oil
water as needed
16 oz pureed pumpkin (2 cups)
1/2 cup egg whites (that's about 3 eggs-worth)
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cup 2% or no-fat evaporated milk
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp each nutmeg and ginger
1/4 tsp cloves

1. Grind or crush the ginger snaps. Mix with the oil and enough water to moisten (not wet) and press evenly onto the bottom and sides of a pie plate. (I use either an 8" or 9" pie plate, depending on what's clean.)
2. Mix remaining ingredients together. (Adjust the sugar and spices, if you like, according to your family's taste.) Pour into crust.
3. Bake at 350 C for appx 45 min, or until centre of pie is set and knife inserted into middle comes out clean.
4. Refrigerate. Enjoy!

If you like extra spice, try mixing in some chopped candied ginger or some ginger jam with the filling before baking. Yum!

Do you have a healthy pie recipe you love? Share it with us!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Radical Christmas Tree Alternative: Bunting Flags

We're going to be "that" family. The family that has an alternative Christmas tree. Post-last-Christmas season, I shared the crazy that goes down in our house with the arrival of a Christmas tree. To sum up: a small disaster. So for this year, I decided to re-think the whole situation and try something new.

Enter the idea of bunting flags. (For those not into crafting/sewing trends, these are strings of flags of the type that I associate with used car lots, and nicer versions of these are remarkably hot right now as whimsical decor.) I still wanted greenery, and opted to combine the flags with a cedar garland.

I had hoped to add lights and ornaments (this was in lieu of a tree, after all), but given the December we had I got Realistic and decided they could wait for next year.

If you'd like to DIY, here's my method for Bunting Flags:

1. Make a template of the size flag desired including a 1/4-inch seam allowance. Mine was approximately 12 inches long x 6 inches wide at the top.

2. Using the template, cut out a selection of flags, two pieces for each finished flag you want. (I did wash and iron my fabric prior, just in case I ever need to launder our flags. Weird stuff happens in our house.)

TIP: Using a rotary cutter with a long acrylic ruler and cutting mat really makes this step go quickly.

I got fancy with some and combined different fabrics.

3. If the flags will be hung in a doorway or window, you may want to add a liner piece to any light-coloured patterned flags so that the pattern from one side doesn't show through on the other side. I simply cut plain white pieces from an old sheet using the same flag template.

4. With right sides of the fabric (i.e. patterned sides) together, join two flag pieces by sewing along the two long sides. If including a liner piece, just add it on top of one of the flag pieces before sewing and stitch all three layers at one time.

TIP: At the "V" where the two side seams meet, sew one stitch straight across instead of making a point. Oddly, this makes it easier to produce a sharp point when you turn the flag right-side out.

5. Trim the seam allowance close to the seam near the point. Then turn the sewn flag right-side out. (I used a wooden skewer to gently prod the narrow end into a point.) Press.

6. Repeat the above steps until you have enough flags for your desired length. Using double-folded bias tape (available at a sewing supply store), insert the flag tops into the centre of the folded tape and sew close along the bottom edge of the tape.

7. Hang and enjoy!

Did you re-imagine any of your Christmas traditions this year?

The Halloween Candy Conundrum

Does anyone else find Halloween candy more plentiful than you remember it being when we were kids? This Halloween, my kids --who are small and don't move fast-- each came home with a sack of loot that I swear had a combined weight greater than any one of the boys!

I know there are lots of smart people out there who will give you sage advice on the best, most responsible way to dole out the Halloween stash. And then there's me...

Last year, I limited my guys to one piece of candy each per day. Sounds reasonable. Except that I had to endure, every day, the relentless badgering of, "Can we have the candy now? Can we have it now? When? Now?" It made me hate all candy that was and has ever been.

This year, I decided to ignore all the sage advice and just try to eliminate the sugary stockpile as quickly as possible. Here's the progress to date: Halloween night, I let my exhausted kids binge on their accumulated candy mass (they were so tired no sugar high could keep them from sleep). That got rid of a certain amount right away. Then, each morning after breakfast I've been letting them at their stash again.

The result?

1. We have relatively little candy left at this point, just under a week post-Halloweening.
2. A good portion of the stash never got eaten, because being free to sample they'd discovered what they liked and then opted to relinquish less palatable items.
3. They're choosing to consume less and less each day. I think we're down to just a few choice pieces each.
4. Our home is a badger-free zone. Knowing that they get free access to the candy each morning has meant that they aren't asking me for it the rest of the day.

Now, I'm not so naive as to think that this method doesn't have any flaws or drawbacks. Nor am I suggesting that it's the right solution for everyone. But for us (for me) this plan is working! 

I've also been trying to think up ways to limit or stem the intake right from the start. No epiphanies yet. Any ideas?

Giving Thanks Amid The Colours

We were very happy to spend part of the Thanksgiving long weekend at our extended family's cottage.

The kids enjoyed exploring the beach, wading in the water, building sandcastles (which were then attacked by ferocious sea monsters) and hiking in the back forest. Good thing I learned from our summer camping venture to bring lots of extra clothes! And waterproof pants didn't hurt...

I hope you and yours had a wonderful time, too!

Decorating Pumpkins Without The Knife

Am I the only one whose kids have already been clamouring, "Can we carve the pumpkin today?" And, of course, my explanation that if we cut into it now (nearly 30 days before Hallowe'en) it will only go bad, gave little credence to my answer of "no."

Thankfully, Gail Gibbons' The Pumpkin Book rescued me. In reading this, my guys nabbed the idea to decorate our pumpkin without subjecting it to surgical re-invention.

Oh, no! My hair gel is out of control!

What we used:

• bottle caps for eyes
• frozen juice can lid for mouth
• play-dough for nose, hair (or whatever that stuff is supposed to be) and ears
• a discarded pacifier and a trinket we found on the street for earrings

Then we had the brilliant idea to make it look like he's climbing out of our front planter! So we cut the legs off a pair of old pants that were headed for the rag bin, wound an elastic around each on one end, stuffed them with plastic bags and finished them off with a pair of old mittens.

Why is this kid smiling? Can't he see I'm trying to get out?!?

Other items that would make great pumpkin features:

• buttons
• pins, brooches
• costume items like glasses and false noses
• Mr. Potato Head bits
• foam shapes or bits that you have lying around

What else?

Chirp Birthday Cake For Daddy

When I asked my boys what kind of cake they'd like to make for their dad's birthday, my oldest --without a second's hesitation-- stated, "A Chirp cake!"

Owl Kids' "Chirp" magazine

For the uninitiated, "Chirp" is the central figure of the Canadian pre-schooler magazine called... wait for it... "Chirp." He's an unidentified yellow chick-thing and he has various (short) adventures with his pals Squawk and Tweet in each issue of the magazine. Yes, sounds weird, but I've slowly realized that media aimed at children with any popularity is undeniably weird. At least, I don't get it half the time. (Yo Gabba Gabba? Toopy and Binoo? What bent minds thought these up?)

What I do love about "Chirp" magazine is that it's

• Canadian, meaning it references Canadian experiences and measures metric (except for recipes);
• largely advertisement-free, unlike other kids magazines I've seen which are choc-full of ads;
• very interactive: each issue offers activities, games, crafts, and imagination fodder;
• overall a good product and well-done!

 The latest issue had a recipe for a Chirp cake, and clearly the kids were eager to try it out. Even with several sous-chefs, pretty good, non?

Whadda ya mean I can't eat any more icing?

Putting the fate of the cake in the hands of a 3-yr-old

Lookin' good!

Ta da!

Children's Blessing: A Birthday Tradition

For each child's birthday celebration, my partner and I prepare a "blessing," and then read it when we're gathered with family.

What's a birthday blessing, you ask? For us it means we reflect back on our children's individual areas of growth and ask God to nurture their unique skills, aptitudes and orientations.

This tradition captures a little snapshot of who our boys are each year, and it helps bring to the forefront of our consciousness the various facets of their personalities and allows us to encourage them in their individual development.
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I'll give a couple of examples of blessings that we've written:

A 5th Birthday Blessing

This year has meant a new stage in your life, that of a school-ager. We bless you as you begin this journey and all of the learning and changing that comes with it.

We bless your developing mind –your inquisitiveness, your wonder, your logical reasoning and your contemplative nature.

We bless your loving heart –your empathy and your caring.

We bless your sense of humour –your love of fun, your joking and teasing.

We bless your growing confidence and engaging personality, as you experience new places, new people, new activities.

We bless your growing body, and we delight in watching you build, climb, ride and run.

We are thankful that you are in our family, and we love you.

A 3rd Birthday Blessing
The past year has been one of many important transitions, as you leave toddlerhood and enter your pre-school years. As we mark your 3^rd birthday, we reflect on the ways you’re growing and developing, and we bless you.

We bless you as you master physical and cognitive skills, like talking, running and jumping, climbing and riding. We bless your growing independence and your strong spirit. We bless you as you learn to consider the feelings of others and the impact of your actions.

We bless your effervescence, your “no holds barred” approach to life.  We bless your imagination, your ability to create new realities in your mind and inhabit those visionary worlds. We bless your love of movement and athletics. We bless your empathetic and affectionate heart and your compassionate spirit. We bless your eagerness and the optimistic outlook you bring.

We are so thankful to God to have you in our family!
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I cannot take credit for this original idea. The seed was planted by a friend (thanks, Sarah!) who shared how she and her partner marked special milestones this way. A little while later, I was given an excerpt from the book The Blessing, by John Trent and Gary Smalley The book provides some general principles on preparing a blessing, as well as biblical underpinnings for the tradition.

Obviously, the meaning of the blessings that we write goes over the head of our younger boys. I think that's okay, as for us it's a spiritual exercise and also something they can re-read when they're older.

But, more importantly, the principles of a blessing can be adapted and interpreted into a format that feels the most natural and appropriate for your family.

(If you'd like to use some of the ideas from our own blessings as a model, do feel free. But please make your blessing your own creation, both because we wrote ours as a special gift for our boys and because a blessing isn't really so special unless it's tailored.)

C'mon Let's Celebrate!

What parent doesn't think her child is special? Yes, we all know there are 7 billion of us on the planet. But nonetheless parents know that each and every member of that enormous human cloud is unique. So let's celebrate it!


A tidbit I gleaned from The Parent You Want To Be had to do with being a Celebratory Parent. The authors' idea is that when we celebrate milestones in our children's lives in a meaningful way, we:

available on publisher's site

• show them that they are loved
• appreciate and value their unique "person-ness"
• demonstrate how well we know them, how conscious we are of their developments

Being a Celebratory Parent does NOT mean:

• telling our children that they are the most amazing person in the whole world
• celebrating in a lavish way that costs a lot of money
• marking every small moment ("Oh, you found a new rock today for your rock collection! Let's have a party!" Unless, of course, it is actually significant that he found a rock...)

A celebration that doesn't require me to vacuum or tidy? This I can do!

For example, when one of our sons mastered the potty and transitioned to "big boy underpants," we all went out for ice cream. While we were enjoying our cups and cones, my partner and I made mention of his reaching this milestone and told him we were proud of him for working hard. No pony rides, no confetti, no diamond-encrusted Hot Wheels. But the fact that he was entering a new stage was noted and celebrated.

We also have a family tradition to celebrate birthdays. But that's for another post...

How about you? Any "milestone celebration" stories?

5 Realistic Ways to Go "Greener": #2 Gift Wrap Alternatives

Turns out, gift wrap is not so environmentally-friendly. The paper kind, though recyclable, is usually virgin paper (i.e. no recycled content). The same for gift bags; plus, these also typically have a laminated surface, which often render them non-recyclable.

Hmmm. So what's a Realistic Mummy trying to be "greener" to do?

Here are my favourite gift wrap alternatives:

1. Fabric
I'll use this when I'm giving to relatives ('cuz then I can ask for it back!). As versatile as wrapping paper, and very long-lived. I have bought new fabric for wrapping purposes, but more "eco" would be to repurpose an old sheet or whatnot.

2. Newspapers and Plain Recycled Newsprint/Kraft Paper
A time-tested favourite! Give your newspaper a second job before heading to the recycling bin. Or, pick up a bulk roll of already recycled paper. (The recycled content is key here, with "post-consumer recycled" content more important than "pre-consumer recycled"). And who says they have to stay plain? Paint, markers, crayon all pretty-up these recycled paper options.

3. Kids' Artwork
Most parents seem to have more artwork than any household can keep. Why not use some of it to wrap gifts? It's like giving two presents at once!

4. Scarves
I mean the "silk" type ones, though I imagine a wool one would work too, in the right circumstance. Again, this idea did not originate with me. A millennia ago, we were given a wedding gift wrapped in a scarf. Lovely! And polyester scarves are easy to find and inexpensive at thrift shops.

The additional challenge is then to wrap the gift in question without tape! (Tape is just strips of sticky plastic, after all.) Reusable fabric ribbon and raffia are my preferences. For a mature gift recipient, safety pins --maybe diaper pins?-- could also work.

Tying fabric/scarves around objects in the Japanese style of furoshiki is a great option. Check out Japan's Ministry of the Environment pdf on tying techniques!

How about you? What gift wrap alternatives have you tried?

(And in case anyone is keeping track, the numbering for the "green" tips is indeed now ascending. I realized that doing it the other way was dumb...)

The Grinch Who Saved Birthdays

Now, don't tell me you haven't heard of the Birthday Grinch? Like her more famous cousin --you know, the one that "stole" Christmas-- this Grinch also makes gifts disappear... birthday gifts. Unlike her waffling cousin, however, the Birthday Grinch is resolute: no last-minute change of heart here. Nope. Birthday presents are --poof!-- all gone.

image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Dr. Seuss references aside, I honestly do specify "no gifts" on the party invitations to our boys' friends. Gifts from relatives we allow. But politely declining gifts from friends stems the seemingly unavoidable rising tide of kids' toys, and it helps our sons look forward to having fun with their friends versus getting, getting, getting.

In reality there are two main differences between me (aka the Birthday Grinch) and the green grouchy guy who lives at the top of a mountain. First, I don't take away gifts that are already given. If a friend brings a gift, we say "thank you,"and then we open it after the party.

And second, my reason for banning birthday presents is not because the little rug-rats irritate me with their joyfulness. On the contrary, I do it with their long-term happiness as an end goal. I figure guiding our kids to consume in a less rabid fashion is ultimately better.

How about you? How do you keep toy levels in check?

Crafting With Kids: Recycled Greeting Card Cones

Now that I've recovered from the big crazy cake adventure, I wanted to share something else my oldest and I did for the birthday party: cones to hold candy made out of recycled greeting cards.

A story that my boy and I really enjoy reading together is A Birthday For Frances by Russell Hoban. In it, there's a description of the table set for the birthday party guests, where each place features a little basket of candy. He'd been asking me for months already if we could do the same thing for his birthday.

I wanted to do something easier (and cheaper) than baskets, and was inspired by the little cones in Gifts From the Kitchen from the Company's Coming series and by this tutorial from Martha Stewart. (I don't usually follow Ms. Stewart, as I don't have the patience --or perhaps, talent-- for her projects, but I could simplify this one.)

marthastewart.com

Our own quick-and-easy version:

1. Use a bowl or saucer of an appropriate size to trace a semi-circle on a recycled greeting card (Christmas cards, birthday cards, etc.).

2. Cut out the semi-circle and overlap the corners of the straight (i.e. not curved) side to make a cone.

3. Fasten with one or two staples.

4. Cut out a short strip from the same card to make the handle, and attach it to the cone with a staple at each end. And voila! A lovely paper cone!

Now, just add the candy. (We put the cones in a muffin tray to keep them more upright.)

A little bit of taste-testing going on here...

Natural Food Colouring

I'm following up on my own question regarding the availability of natural food colouring (my Lightening McQueen cake turned out well, but the amount of dye involved kind of freaked me out).

The following does not represent an exhaustive search, but I did find some concentrated natural food colourings online. This line from Chocolate Craft Studio in Oregon looks especially good.

I'll definitely look into their colour pastes and powders for my next major cake adventure.

pastes

powders

Lightening McQueen Cake, or My Existential Crisis

So I need to confess I did something not very "Realistic Mummy" for our recent kid birthday. I agreed to make a Lightening McQueen (LMQ) cake. (If you don't co-habit with young primary schoolers, LQM is a car character from Disney's oh-so-creatively titled movie franchise, "Cars.")

In fact, I made the cake not once, but twice: one for the family celebration (as a trial-run) and then another for the party with school friends.

My lumpy-surface cake, after I'd stuck it back together.

For the trial-run I opted to make my traditional dairy-free, spelt flour cake (extended family allergies). And I did not slather the pan in shortening like the instructions directed. Those two moves together resulted in a well-stuck cake that wouldn't leave the pan without heavy persuasion. ("Don't tap on the pan to loosen the cake," the instructions said. Yeah, right.)

That's a lot of blue icing! 

What I was left with was a rather mangled, vaguely car-shaped mass that could only be redeemed by an expert decorating job. Too bad it was just me doing the decorating. Nevertheless --and despite tinting my entire first batch of icing blue-- I think I managed to pull off something that resembled LMQ, even if he did look oddly lumpy.

At least you can tell who it is...

Feeling confident from my more-or-less success, I looked forward to the second go. I made a different cake recipe and even got it out of the pan intact! Then things started to unravel. I have few clear memories of the day before the party, save that I began to make icing around 10:30 p.m. Did I mention that I made, not one, but two kinds of icing, both of which required somewhat laborious preparation? And did I mention that the design required six colours of icing, in addition to the un-tinted white?

A couple of hours later, as I was starting to pipe the outlines, the existential crisis hit. I began to ask myself, "Is this really what I was meant to do with my life? Were all those years of education and skill-building without purpose? How did I get into this mess?"

By 3 a.m. the cake was finished. I'm pretty sure I flopped into bed after that. And I must say that the cake looked pretty good! Was it worth it? Hung jury. On the one hand, I did mostly enjoy the project (not the 3 a.m. finish part) and the result was more than acceptable. On the other hand, I think the party guests looked at it for about three seconds before it was cut and distributed.

Much better!

Would I do it again? Probably. I feel like I say "no" to a lot of things. So when my kid turns to me and excitedly asks, "Can I have a LMQ cake for my birthday?" and I know I can rise to the challenge, then I want to say yes. And I did mostly enjoy it. (Just not the 3 a.m. part. Did I already say that?)

(In case you're interested, I'm also posting separately the recipes for my edible masterpiece.)